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Jacob Stapledon

The need for communication this holiday season

December 13, 2020 by Jacob Stapledon

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The need for communication this holiday season

Jacob Stapledon

December 13, 2020

For many, this year’s holiday season has dramatically shifted away from the norm. Whether this means more work, or less, it undoubtably causes stress. While the holiday season is often one of joy, sharing, family and love, many children and families who have experienced trauma face additional challenges. The realities of many types of loss, combined with the whirlwind and varying impacts of COVID-19, may make it difficult to see the wonder of the season. However, there are ways to make this holiday season meaningful, less stressful, and joyful this year.

As with any topic that causes anxiety, the first step is to talk about it. Depending on if you have very young children who don’t understand all the differences this year may bring, or you have older children who do, this conversation may be very different. For young children, it may not involve them more than simply explaining that some traditions may be different. The details don’t matter as much as clearly communicating and then adding in something they will get to experience as an excitement. For older children, it may be helpful for your family to talk about how everyone is feeling. Understanding and communicating fears, hopes, frustrations and anticipation may help everyone come together for a common goal. Perhaps there are traditions that can be continued that will mean even more. There may be something that holds an importance you hadn’t realized. Or, if there are some things that just can’t happen, or can’t be fixed, expressing your sadness and frustration may help your children reconcile their own feelings. Communication and transparency can help the connection with your children and move toward the things that bring joy.

To support your children in the holiday season, you must first support yourself; much like the oxygen mask on an airplane, if you can’t breathe, you can’t help another.”

Another critical component this season is self-care. Parents and caregivers often take on the frustration, anger, sadness and disappointment of their children during loss, trauma and grief. For those with younger children, the realization of what your children are going to miss out on feels like an extra burden when making what they can experience that much more special. To support your children in the holiday season, you must first support yourself; much like the oxygen mask on an airplane, if you can’t breathe, you can’t help another.

Carve out time for yourself, identify what is going to make you happy and help you relax. Don’t put this off! Self-care practices are often the first to go after what can be even a minor inconvenience. Identify at least one activity (something you do, not take, eat or drink) that calms you down, releases anxiety or frustration, and practice it daily. Double doses of self-care are recommended. Talk with your partner, family or friends about what you look forward to in the holiday season and find something you know will bring you joy.

The National Child Traumatic Stress Network has put together a guide for parents in navigating this holiday season with children and teens. Their resources, suggestions and tools may help you find that “ah-ha!” moment in supporting your family’s holiday.

Happy Holidays from all of us at Children’s Cove

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Filed Under: OUR TAKE

Community Partners – Harbor Church, Massachusetts Maritime Academy Student Athlete Advisory Committee

December 13, 2020 by Jacob Stapledon

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It Takes a Community

Jacob Stapledon

December 13, 2020

Although this year has been unprecedented and different, one thing has remained constant: the impact our partners in the community make. We want to highlight a handful of the essential partnerships we’ve had for several years, including Harbor Church in Hyannis and Massachusetts Maritime Academy and the Student Athlete Advisory Committee (SAAC) in Buzzards Bay. These two organizations have contributed to the holiday season being filled with abundance, thanks, and joy for more than 175 families and nearly 300 children who have been victims of sexual abuse. One of the most vital elements of the spirit we carry at Children’s Cove is that, even after trauma, children can enjoy healthy, safe, and empowered lives. Our friends at Harbor and MMA help us bring that vision to life.

Boxes of Thanksgiving food items and extras from Harbor Church.
Boxes of Thanksgiving food items and extras from Harbor Church.

In the early Fall 2016, our Family Advocate gave a tour to some members of the Harbor Church, after which they asked, “How can we help?” This led to the first year in which members of the community put together full holiday meals with extra fixings, cooking utensils, and handmade cards for our team to give to families in need we’d supported that year. Since then, Harbor has doubled the amount of families they support each year and have encouraged members of their community to give back in incredible ways. We’d like to recognize and give a special thank you to Katie Rose Richie and Allison Warner, who have coordinated with Melanie the last four years in making this an annual event.

Members of Children’s Cove and MMA SAAC from 2019
Members of Children’s Cove and MMA SAAC from 2019

Another organization with tradition of annual giving and impact is the Massachusetts Maritime Academy Student Athlete Advisory Committee (MMA SAAC). For nearly 10 years, MMA SAAC has provided a collection of new toys and gifts for children who are seen at Children’s Cove. Every one of those years, like clockwork, they have delivered us a van (or two) full of toys to help Children’s Cove families. The student leaders at MMA have always demonstrated the inherent values of the institutions they represent, including honor, responsibility, discipline, and leadership. They have not only gathered and solicited donations from their communities, but they have also understood and communicated the mission, vision and values of Children’s Cove. By talking about these important issues and recognizing that a conversation is just as important as a donation, we may be making a difference for the future in mitigating the stigma of childhood trauma.

Members of MMA SAAC from 2017

Over the last few years, MMA SAAC has helped nearly 250 children to have a joyful and fun holiday season. Because of the pandemic and limitation this year, the MMA SAAC, and our contacts Joe Malkin, Student-Athlete Advisory Committee Advisor, and Student Athletes George Lampros and Lucia Buzzell have chosen to “pivot” and approach family support differently. In lieu of the annual toy drive, we will be sending out gift cards to families who have come through the Cove recently, and, on an as-needed basis, to families who have walked through our doors in the last few years. Our goal is to take the burden off caregivers this holiday season and to provide smiles to children and teens who have received our services.

There is still hope and healing to carry into this holiday season. We are thankful to our generous and caring community partners for their support and for sharing in our vision to create a community where children are free of abuse, have a voice that is heard, and where they can enjoy healthy, safe, and empowered lives.

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Filed Under: COMMUNITY

Local Surge in Online Exploitation

October 30, 2020 by Jacob Stapledon

Children’s Cove warns parents to be vigilant

Filed Under: Image Slider

Online Safety-Teens

September 25, 2020 by Jacob Stapledon

We want you safe!

Filed Under: Image Slider

Online Safety-Parents

September 25, 2020 by Jacob Stapledon

10 things for parent to know

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Signs a Child Needs Help

May 6, 2020 by Jacob Stapledon

For those using video chat apps

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