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If We can Protect Ourselves from the Pandemic, Why Can’t We Protect Our Children from Sexual Abuse?

April 15, 2021

As we continue to vaccinate and emerge from the darker days of the COVID-19 pandemic, I take pause to think about how our perceptions and behaviors have changed, possibly for good. When I watch TV or movies, for example, with folks crowded together in tight spaces not wearing masks, I can’t help but shudder and think, “Too close!” Similarly, if I leave the house without a mask or hand sanitizer, there’s a slight onset of panic. We all have adopted basic safety behaviors to protect ourselves and our neighbors from COVID-19. We have changed the way we live and our perceptions about risk to stay safe. We know what to do prevent it, and most of us have done so.

But what have we done to prevent child sexual abuse?
The answer is simple: not enough.

The casualties and fallout from COVID-19 are devastating and tragic. There is no question about that. But so, too, are the statistics about child sexual abuse. Research shows that one in four girls, and one in six boys are sexually abused before their 18th birthdays. Most victims suffer in silence, as it is estimated that more than 90 percent of abuse victims never report what happened to them. Are we are going to continue to let this happen?

What if we only knew about 1 in 10 cases of COVID-19 infection? What if we had no way to detect it other than by self-report, and there was no such thing as contact tracing? We might all still be in lockdown, without a vaccine, and infections would continue to surge. We must apply this same rationale to stopping the incidence of child sexual abuse.

If we can find a way to protect ourselves from a pandemic that has killed millions of people this year, we can absolutely find a way to protect our children.

April is National Child Abuse Prevention Month, which is why we are urging our community to come together to make a difference. We ask that parents and caregivers have the conversations about body safety, regularly and often, with their children, their families, and friends. This includes which parts of their bodies are private, not to be touched by anyone, and reminding them they need to immediately tell an adult they trust if someone does touch them inappropriately. If parents and caregivers have concerns that a child isn’t safe, they must reach out for help. It can be awkward, but it’s necessary. It can prevent child sexual abuse.

Adverse childhood experiences leave a lasting impact on children that may follow them for a lifetime. Per the CDC, these experiences can increase the risks of injury, maternal and child health problems, teen pregnancy, involvement in sexual exploitation, and a wide range of chronic diseases and leading causes of death, such as cancer, diabetes, heart disease, and suicide. By shining a light on these “taboo” topics, we can remove stigma and foster change. We have learned that changing our perceptions, responses and behaviors is effective in quelling a pandemic, and the same thing is true for our behaviors and perceptions surrounding child sexual abuse.

Even in these challenging times, we can work together to create a community where children are free of abuse, have a voice that is heard, and where they enjoy healthy, safe, and empowered lives.

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Organizations’ Responsibility to Address Sexual Abuse

March 11, 2021

Trigger Warning, this article contains strong content relative to sexual abuse perpetrators and survivors.

There have been numerous headlines of late with an underlying message that has largely been ignored: organizations need to do more to prevent child sexual abuse. Recently, major national institutions have been highlighted in the regular and pervasive sexual abuse of children. More than 92,000 sexual abuse claims now face the Boy Scouts of America, and they are tied up in legal action going back decades. The Diocese of Fall River of the Catholic Church earlier this year released names and the assignments of 75 clergy members accused of child sexual abuse going back 70 years. And, in a recent development of the USA Gymnastics and Michigan State coverup of the systematic sexual abuse of young girls in gymnastics, former Olympic gymnastics coach John Geddert died by suicide after facing dozens of charges including, sexual assault and human trafficking.

While all of these organizations are different, and unrelated victims were abused over time, these organizations had two things in common: they all had direct services and supports to serve children, and they all systematically covered up reports and evidence of sexual abuse. Organizations that exist to help children have the means and capabilities to stop systemic abuse.

To get to the next step in providing safety to all children is to acknowledge that preventing sexual abuse is a priority in the mission of the organization. For too long, sexual abuse has been a taboo subject hidden in the shadows, increasing the likelihood of the victimization of children. Some organizations confront challenges in their systems, particularly surrounding safety and protocol, but don’t have the policies and guidelines in place to react quickly and appropriately to instances of sexual abuse.

The following are some starting suggestions for organizations to consider in adopting a visible and zero-tolerance policy to sexual abuse:

• Rigorously screen all potential employee’s and volunteers. Go beyond the statewide CORI, include SORI and national searches, for potential offenses in other states.
• Thoroughly check references, and conduct Google and social media searches of applicants.
• Have strong organizational policies and procedures in place that define sexual abuse and explicitly explain and prohibit inappropriate contact, communication, or conduct with children at work or outside of it.
• Limit one-on-one time with staff and employees with children; and monitor the behavior of staff and their interactions with children.
• Have clear mandated reporter training, expectations, and means for confidential internal reporting of concerns of suspicious or inappropriate behavior.
• Inform parents and children of your policies and procedures and encourage conversations between children and parents about body safety. Have these policies posted publicly visible on your website.
• Provide training to your employees about how to recognize, respond and report child abuse. Only 10 percent of children ever disclose sexual abuse, and it is often the ability to recognize behavioral signs and symptoms of abuse to get help to children in need.

When an organization unintentionally invites a predator into their midst, they must have the resources at hand to respond immediately to reports of any sexual misconduct and to prohibit further incidents. We cannot emphasize this enough. It is not easy to identify a predator at first, as they most often are people we know and trust. However, once a predator has been accused of an alleged offense, it must be taken very seriously, with no room for debate or repeated violence.

By having clear zero-tolerance guidelines from the outset, the first instance of alleged sexual abuse will be taken very seriously and not overlooked. These policies must come from leadership, and conversation surrounding sexual abuse and children’s safety should be encouraged. The more we bring these discussions to light, the closer we can get to a future free of sexual abuse of children.

We want to extend our heartfelt apologies to all those affected by sexual abuse, beyond just the Boy Scouts of America, the Diocese of Fall River of the Catholic Church, and U.S. Gymnastics. We seek to share your stories to amplify them and to move towards a future free of sexual abuse.

If your organization would like to learn more about having effective policies, procedures and training to recognize, respond and report child sexual abuse contact Jacob Stapledon, Community Engagement and Education Coordinator at Children’s Cove.

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Sexual Behavior in Children: Let’s Talk About It

February 10, 2021

All children develop natural behaviors related to their bodies and sexual exploration: asking about and commenting on private parts of the body, being curious about others’ bodies compared to their own, even recognizing that certain parts of the body feel good when touched. Sexual exploration and play are a natural part of child sexual development. However, sometimes childhood sexual behaviors can become concerning, problematic, or even harmful to other children. It is important to better understand the differences between normative sexual development and/or concerning or problematic behavior.

Problematic sexual behavior in children includes behaviors that are beyond the child’s developmental stage. They may involve threats or coercion and/or happen between children of widely different chronological or developmental ages. These behaviors can occur between children in different families or between siblings in the same family. They can sometimes be hurtful or involve the use of body parts or objects in a sexual manner. Problematic sexual behavior can also occur using technology or online communication.

Children develop problematic sexual behavior for a variety of reasons. These behaviors are most often related to some type of anxiety, traumatic experience, or poor impulse control. Children who demonstrate problematic sexual behavior often have other behavioral difficulties, such as impulsiveness, social skill deficits, and difficulty with self-regulation. Problematic sexual behavior has also been linked to factors like exposure to domestic violence, exposure to adult sexual activity or pornography, or inadequate supervision and rules around privacy. Although some children with problematic sexual behavior may have been sexually abused by an adult, it is important to note that this is not true for all.

It can be overwhelming for a parent to ask for help or consultation related to their child’s sexual behavior. There is often a sense of shame and stigma attached to childhood sexual behaviors. It is important to remember that a child with concerning or problematic sexual behavior is a child first. Caregivers seeking help need support and a message of hope from their providers. It is essential for the caregiver to be involved in treatment, and for treatment to include safety planning, the development of sexual behavior rules at an age-appropriate level, as well as other strategies often used in trauma-informed treatment models, such as feelings identification, relaxation techniques, and impulse control strategies. It also vital to note that children who receive treatment for problematic sexual behavior rarely go on to hurt others as adults. Treatment and education are the best prevention tools for a society free from sexual harm and abuse. Children’s Cove is committed to continuing to improve training and educational opportunities related to children’s sexual development and problematic behavior as part of our vision to create a community where children are free from abuse, have a voice that is heard, and where they enjoy healthy, safe, and empowered lives.

Our Mental Health Coordinator Kristine Monteiro is participating in a state-wide training and learning collaborative sponsored by Massachusetts Children’s Alliance (MACA) – and facilitated by the University of Oklahoma related to children ages 7-12 with problematic sexual behavior. MACA is also working with  Massachusetts Society for a World Free of Sexual Harm by Youth (MASOC) – which has developed an online training series related to problematic sexual behavior. You can find the training series on the MASOC website at www.masoc.net. The National Child Traumatic Stress Network in partnership with the National Center on the Sexual Behavior of Youth has developed a great resource guide for parents and providers that you can access here.

For further consultation or connection to resources, Kristine can be reached at 508-375-6927 or through email at kristine.monteiro@childrenscove.org

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