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Jacob Stapledon

Mental Health Awareness and our Critical Needs

May 25, 2022 by Jacob Stapledon

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Mental Health Awareness and our Critical Needs

Jacob Stapledon

May 24th, 2022

May is when flowers are blooming at full speed, bees are buzzing, and birds are singing. The longer sunny days bring a lightness to people’s steps as they stroll around our beautiful community. May is also National Mental Health Awareness Month, which allows us to shine a light on the fact that in the United States between 17-20% of people will receive a mental health diagnosis.

According to the National Alliance on Mental Illness, it is important to raise awareness about what a mental illness is. A mental illness is a condition that affects a person’s thinking, feeling or mood. These diagnoses or conditions could impact someone’s ability to relate to others or function in their activities of daily living. Each person, regardless of the diagnosis, will have different experiences. While primary care physicians can prescribe some medications to provide support to certain conditions, it is the work of behavioral health providers to truly support those who have received such diagnoses.

Beyond long-term diagnoses or conditions, every day people have experiences where they would benefit from the support of a behavioral health professional. Trauma, loss, stress from work, fears, phobias, and substance misuse; there is no shortage of reasons why someone would benefit from a provider. However, there is a fear associated with seeking professional health due to the stigma surrounding why someone may seek out a provider. At Children’s Cove we depend on our trauma informed providers to support children who have been victims of crime, as well as support their non-offending family members. And yet, even with this critical reason for support, we have a serious challenge on our hands.

Across Cape Cod and the Islands, parents experience immense difficulty when seeking accessible services for their children. Whether searching for support groups, outpatient therapists, mentors, in-home therapists, or other wrap-around services, we are tremendously under capacity to serve our children. Depending on the services, health insurance, and location a family lives, there could be a 3-6 month wait time (or more) for a child to begin receiving services. While this is not a situation unique to the Cape and Islands, it is certainly an exacerbated one.

There needs to be a greater awareness by the community at large about behavioral health care. When it comes to the need for services in our community, a unified voice needs to say, ‘We are here, and we have needs on Cape Cod and the Islands’ to state agencies and elected officials.”

A primary issue in each town or region is a lack of child-focused providers and organizations. And in those organizations which do provide services for children the capacity is already at its limit. The challenges of living in our region (high cost of living, lack of attainable housing, barriers to transportation) have impacted the behavioral health and human services field making it difficult for agencies to hire professionals who work with children. In response to this crisis of children’s behavioral health services and support network, the Children’s Behavioral Health Working Group (CBHWG) was formed to serve the Cape and Islands.

The CBHWG started as a grassroots movement in 2019 by a local foster parent who discovered how difficult it was to get services for children in her care. Through conversations with other foster parents and young families, she realized how large-scale the problem was and decided she wanted to sound the alarm to the community. Since 2019, the group has grown to include dozens of individuals and organizations and has hired a coordinator for the initiative.

Barbara Dominic, LICSW, Human Services Consultant to the Children’s Behavioral Health Working Group

Barbara Dominic, LICSW, works as a consultant for Barnstable County, and is the manager of the Children’s Behavioral Health Working Group. Barbara, a licensed social worker, and counselor in a local school district, was drawn to the group and its mission because she knew how hard it was for children to gain access to services.

With her coordination, the CBHWG has become a collaboration of 25-30 human service agencies, where behavioral health providers and community stakeholders work together to increase access to, and maximize the efficacy of, the Cape and Islands behavioral health system of care for children, adolescents, and young adults ages 0-18. This is accomplished through collaboration, advocacy, education, and training. This group meets monthly to focus on training and education for behavioral health providers in the community, allowing time and the opportunity to work together to solve the challenges around service shortages for children. The participants also gather information about current needs, trends and pending legislation which impact behavioral health services for children and families in our community.

The CBHWG has gained traction at the state house with regular attendance of a representative from Senator Julian Cyr’s office who keeps the group apprised of any legislation which may impact services in our region. The group also seeks to strengthen and build a collaboration of providers to reduce the practice of organizations working in silos, which aims to maximize the efficacy of each organization’s service to the community. The CBHWG also discusses how to effectively advocate for increased reimbursement rates, workforce salaries, barriers to employment such as housing and processional licensing.

When speaking with Barbara about the work of the group, one of the key points she made was that there needs to be a greater awareness to the community at large about behavioral health care. She also believes that when it comes to the need for services in our community, we need to speak in a unified voice that says, “we are here and we have needs on Cape Cod and the Islands,” to state agencies and elected officials. By talking about this issue, rather than keeping it in the shadows, the stigma of mental health can be addressed and the barriers to access can begin to come down. Barbara also stated that, as a community, we need to prioritize our children and young people. For their health, for the health of our community, we need to place an emphasis on the importance of mental health and needed services for children both now and in the future.

As a community it can be hard to prioritize mental health services and support. We know as a community we have so many issues: wastewater, climate change, healthcare, traffic, the economy, and a large senior population who have very specific needs. This is where the CBHWG can also provide support. The working group, and Barnstable County government, will be working in the near future to perform a thorough needs assessment of children’s behavioral health services in our community. This study will provide supportive data to understand the gaps in services that our communities need for effective advocacy and awareness to support our children’s mental health.

Studies and assessments take time, and many of our children need services now. When community members ask Barbara, “what can we do about this now?” she says it can be hard to answer with just one thing. So, she simply recommends that people “…be aware of the services for children which are available in your community and see if they are accessible. Learn more about what supports children in your community, or if there is a lack of services. And listen to what discussions take place at town meeting regarding children, or regarding supportive services for children and young families in your community. If you don’t hear any, perhaps there is an opportunity for one.”

Please email Barbara to learn more about the Children’s Behavioral Health Working Group, or ways you can support children’s behavioral health in our community.

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Filed Under: OUR TAKE

Behavioral Health for Children

May 25, 2022 by Jacob Stapledon

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Community Partner Spotlight: Behavioral Health Providers

Jacob Stapledon

May 24th, 2022

At Children’s Cove we know how important immediate clinical assistance and community support is to children and non-offending families following a traumatic event. Our Trauma Informed Provider Network works with our Mental Health Coordinator Kristine Monteiro, and Family Services Coordinator, Kathy Fayerberg, to provide behavioral health services to the children and families we support.

I remember when I was little, ‘cancer’ was the terrible word. If you had cancer you had the big stigma right there on your forehead… Now I think mental health needs that same normalization. We need to talk about our mental health as easily as we talk about our physical health” – Glenn Close 

During Mental Health Awareness Month, we want to acknowledge and highlight some critical behavioral health service providers on Cape Cod and the Islands.  We work with them or refer survivors and their families to them to promote healthy outcomes and help mitigate the stigma of child abuse.

  • Child & Family Services
  • Justice Resource Institute
  • Gosnold, Inc
  • Independence House
  • NAMI Cape Cod & the Islands
  • Nantucket Behavioral Health TASK Force
  • Falmouth Human Services
  • Outer Cape Health Services
  • Cape Cod Healthcare Centers for Behavioral Health
  • Bay Cove
  • Northeast Health Services (Hyannis)
  • Family Continuity (Hyannis, Nantucket)
  • Mass Mentor (Sevita Health)
  • Italian Home for Children
  • Martha’s Vineyard Community Services Island Counseling Center and Connect to End Violence
  • A Safe Place Nantucket
  • Fairwinds Nantucket
  • Nantucket Cottage Hospital Behavioral Health

Thank you to these critical community partners and their team members who serve the children and families of our region.

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Filed Under: COMMUNITY

A Community Free From Abuse

April 18, 2022 by Jacob Stapledon

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A Community Free From Abuse

Jacob Stapledon

April 18th, 2022

At Children’s Cove, we are some of the hundreds of professionals across Cape Cod, Nantucket and Martha’s Vineyard serving the vulnerable in our community. During Child Abuse Prevention Month and Sexual Assault Awareness Month, it is critical to raise the visibility of the services available to our community.

No matter what has happened, no matter what someone has said, no matter your fears: you are not alone. You have not done anything wrong, and you are not in trouble. Ask for help. There is an entire community that will believe you.”

If you are in or know of any child or person in an unsafe situation, there is a community of professionals who have made it their mission to help. Please reach out as everyone should live in a community free of abuse.

  • Independence House, Inc., Hyannis  800.439.6507
  • A Safe Place, Inc., Nantucket  508.228.2111
  • CONNECT to End Violence, Martha’s Vineyard  508.696.7233
  • Safe Harbor: Aquinnah Wampanoag Women’s Center, Aquinnah  508.955.9164
  • DCF Child-At-Risk HOTLINE, Hyannis  800.792.5200

If you are not sure who to call, or where to seek support, click here. 

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Filed Under: COMMUNITY

We Can Prevent Child Abuse Together

April 18, 2022 by Jacob Stapledon

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We Can Prevent Child Abuse Together

Jacob Stapledon

April 18th, 2022

In the United States, National Child Abuse Prevention Month is annually observed throughout the month of April. It is a critical time to raise awareness of our nation’s child abuse crisis. The statistics remain overwhelmingly alarming that one in four girls — and one in six boys — will be sexually abused before their 18th birthday. Most victims suffer in silence as it is estimated that more than 90 percent of abuse victims never report what happened to them. Even more disturbing is that more than 90 percent of perpetrators are someone an abused child knows and trusts – a coach, camp counselor, teacher, someone in their faith community, or a family member.

This month child safety advocates across the state and nation are urging communities to come together to make a difference. We ask that parents and caregivers “Have the Conversation” with their children, their family, and friends about sexual abuse, and begin to talk with young children about body safety. This includes which parts of their bodies are private, not to be touched by anyone, and reminding them they need to immediately tell an adult they trust if someone has touched them inappropriately. As children get older, these conversations can evolve into discussions about personal privacy, online safety, and consent. By starting these discussions when children are young, and having them often, parents and caregivers can open the gateway to communication about all types of “difficult” topics across the span of a child’s development into an adult.

If child victims disclose their sexual abuse, most often it is to a safe adult who is obligated by law to report it, and that adult is known as a mandated reporter. Mandated reporters in Massachusetts include a wide range of professionals, most notably, teachers, coaches, therapists, and guidance counselors. As the child advocacy center for Cape Cod and the Islands, we work with our multidisciplinary partners to respond to these disclosures and provide compassionate, comprehensive, and collaborative response services at no cost to survivors of child abuse. Collectively we utilize our evidence-based programs, network of community partnerships, educational outreach, and awareness efforts to empower survivors, promote healthy outcomes, and help mitigate the stigma of child abuse.

for too long, sexual abuse has been a taboo subject hidden in the shadows, increasing the likelihood of the victimization of children”

We can make a strong impact in the prevention, early recognition, and coordinated response to child sexual abuse on Cape Cod, Nantucket, and Martha’s Vineyard. We can do this by working together to help parents learn how to break the stigma of talking about child sexual abuse. Let’s teach children about body safety and foster healthy communication between children and their parents about difficult subjects.  Our community should offer regular and ongoing training for professionals who work with children to help them effectively recognize and respond to someone who may have been abused. And we can ask organizations who serve children to institute effective policies and procedures mandating such training and instituting rigorous hiring practices.

As a community, we need to provide a safe environment for all children in our public spaces, in schools and in organizations that serve children.  Our first step in achieving this level of safety is for everyone to make preventing sexual abuse a priority. For too long, sexual abuse has been a taboo subject hidden in the shadows, increasing the likelihood of the victimization of children.  It is not easy to identify a predator in the community, at work, or even in one’s home, as they are most often people we know and trust. However, we can work together to reduce the instances where that predator is able to take advantage of a child.

The more we bring these discussions to light, the closer we will be to a community where children are free of abuse, have a voice that is heard, and where they enjoy healthy, safe, and empowered lives.

If you have a concern that a child isn’t safe, or may need help, please click here to find the next steps to get someone support.

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Filed Under: OUR TAKE

Community Partners – Good Grief Cape Cod 

March 18, 2022 by Jacob Stapledon

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Community Partners – Good Grief Cape Cod

Jacob Stapledon

March 18th, 2022

A few years ago, while attending the Cape Cod Mom’s Parent Resource Fair, we met a lot of incredible community organizations. The range of support services for children and families on Cape Cod and the Islands is incredible. One of those organizations, Good Grief Cape Cod, has become a close and valued partner.

Good Grief Cape Cod’s mission is to promote positive change as to how our society responds to grief. The agency offers community engagement opportunities, shares information, provides educational workshops and support systems that help children and families cope with death. Good Grief Cape Cod believes in and has research which supports their belief that children of all ages grieve. Good Grief was founded and is operated by Amy Wyman, a music therapist with a dual degree in Early Childhood Education and Child Life from Wheelock College as well as a Master’s in Expressive Art Therapies with a specialization in Music Therapy from Lesley University.

Good Grief Cape Cod’s mission is to promote positive change as to how our society responds to grief.

As organizations we support individuals who have experienced something traumatic. People find it difficult to discuss physical and sexual abuse as well as other crimes against children. It is not common for people to discuss the impacts of death, dying and loss. All of these issues affect children and are important conversations for healthy and supportive responses to children in need of care. Our friends at Good Grief Cape Cod help children and families process and learn how to discuss loss and grief.

Good Grief Cape Cod has a variety of community engagement services that include holding grief response workshops, donating hand-made stuffed bears to grieving families, offering retreats, hosting “meals that heal” for families who have recently experienced a loss, and providing individualized therapeutic response for children and families. The agency recognizes that death, loss, and grief impacts everyone in a variety of ways depending upon their age, faith, culture, and community. Supporting a child, family or any other individual who has experienced loss requires a special and authentic response.

Amy Wyman, Founder & Director Good Grief Cape Cod

At Children’s Cove, we have learned that loss is not only related to the death of a loved one. Grief is experienced by the loss of pets, the separation from friends, loved ones and relationships, or the removal of a parent figure due to arrest or incarceration.

Last year Jacob Stapledon, our Community Engagement and Education Coordinator appeared on the Cape Cod Mom’s Parent Pod  with Good Grief Cape Cod’s Amy Wyman and they discussed with host Amy Leonardi that when Covid-19 shut down the world, the lack of connection to others was a shared, and also individual, loss.

We need to talk about topics that scare us. By confronting these fears, by being transparent, open, and raw, we can help children heal. The incredible work done at Good Grief Cape Cod to assist grieving families and children cope with death is a vital resource for our region.

To learn more, visit their website, or call Amy Wyman at 774.392.8150

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Filed Under: COMMUNITY

Parents, how are you doing, really?

March 18, 2022 by Jacob Stapledon

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Parents, how are you doing, really?

Jacob Stapledon

March 18th, 2022

Over the last few months during conversations with parents, community partners and associates, when asking how someone is, the response has been “I’m doing fine” or “I’m hanging in there” or “we’re making it.” And, in a manner of speaking those answers are pretty accurate. Think about it, no one wants to say out loud (even if it’s true) “oh, you know, white knuckling it through the day, just hoping I make it through.”

There is a special and certain kind of sacrifice parents make in life, at times being completely terrified, distraught, enraged, confused or just plain exhausted, and not feeling as though they can show it. The fear of how these emotional expressions may impact their children often has parents shoulder these burdens silently. The past two years have been filled with unprecedented events for this generation. Covid-19, economic impacts associated with loss or changes in jobs, inflation, intense political discourse, and a war raging in Europe are just some of the issues reported by media outlets and on social media 24 hours a day. For parents, all of this is amplified by the stress of figuring out how to have the dreaded “how do I talk to my kids about this?” conversation.

there is a reason airline safety rules instruct adults to put their oxygen mask on first before helping a child: if you can’t breathe, you can’t help.

Over the last couple of years, Children’s Cove is one of many organizations which has offered ways parents can help navigate these discussions. There is a lot of incredible information, conversational prompts, supports and resources for children of all ages. However, there is a reason airline safety rules instruct adults to put the oxygen mask on first before helping a child: if you can’t breathe, you can’t help. If you aren’t caring for yourself, you aren’t able to care as well for your child. Let’s take a minute to talk about some ways you can take care of yourself. So, let’s start again with a different question.

Parents, how are you taking care of yourself?

Are you being compassionate and patient with yourself (and others)?

There is only so much energy a person has to give every day where you can be truly present. Accepting this is healthy – know it’s okay to have limits, that you don’t have to do everything all at once.

It’s okay if you are not able to fold that last batch of laundry.
It’s okay that dinner is going to be takeout, or microwaved, or leftovers some nights.
It’s okay that the bedtime story you read to your kids is a short one so you can quickly get it over.
Remind yourself you are human, and not perfect. Be kind and compassion to make choices to take care of yourself. Be patient with others if they need to make some of those choices too.

Are you “going down the rabbit hole?”

With access to excessive information, it can be tempting or even sometimes too easy, to “go down the rabbit hole” on a social media site, binge YouTube videos, or consume online articles about the latest issue or catastrophe. While this may be informative, interesting or a great escape, is it serving your immediate needs? Remember, you have a limited amount of time each day and where you direct your energy matters.

Have you done something just for yourself?

Practical self-care is something you do, not something you take. While the kale smoothies and health food (or carton of ice cream) can give a nice boost, true self-care is an activity you enjoy. Going for a walk, reading a book, starting a puzzle, getting out an old sketch book: something just for you. As a parent the feeling of loss of “self” is common. Over an extended period of reacting and adapting, it may be a more common feeling than you think. Rediscover something you enjoy and start again.

Are you letting your partner, spouse, or non-work friends know how you’re really doing?

Talk. Talk about how you are feeling. Be honest and have candid conversations. The more you fill up, the more likely these feelings will overwhelm you and spill out in ways you do no want them to. Schedule a call with a friend, find time to talk with your partner or spouse away from the kids or a professional who can listen supportively.

Are you sleeping enough?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Who has time to sleep? While your “alone” or even “together” time is important, sleep is also important to regenerate your body, mind, and energy. A lack of sleep can lead to additional challenges, such as irritability, susceptibility to illness, forgetfulness, and challenges with mental health.

These are just a handful of suggestions to start thinking about better self-care. If you aren’t caring for yourself, you aren’t able to care as well for your child. Remember, children watch and absorb everything you do, even the stubborn teenage ones. By making time to practice self-care, you are giving yourself a better version of you and role modeling a healthy lifestyle for your children.

If you need some support as a parent, there are local resources available

  • The Samaritans of Cape Cod & The Islands: 800.893.9900
  • Cape Cod Family Resource Center:  508.815.5100
  • Bay Cove Human Services:  833.229.2683
  • Nantucket Emergency Mental Health Services: 877.784.6273
  • Nantucket Family Resource Center: 508.815.5115
  • Cape Cod Children’s Place:  508.240.3310
  • Martha’s Vineyard Family Resource Center: 508.693.7900
  • Martha’s Vineyard Mental Health crisis: 508.693.0032

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Individuals pictured are models and are used for illustrative purposes only. Children’s Cove is partially supported by the Massachusetts Office of Victims of Assistance through a Victim of Crime Act of 1984 (VOCA) grant from the Office of Victims of Crime, Office of Justice Programs, U.S. Department of Justice. In accordance with Federal law and U.S. Department of Agriculture policy, this institution is prohibited from discriminating on the basis of race, color, national origin, religion, gender or gender identity, disability, ancestry, age, marital status, public assistance status, sexual orientation, veteran history/military status or genetic information. (Not all prohibited bases apply to all programs.) To file a complaint of discrimination, write to USDA, Director, Office of Civil Rights, 1400 Independence Avenue, S.W., Washington, D.C. 20250-9410, or call (800) 795-3272 (voice) or (202) 720-6382 (TDD). USDA is an equal opportunity provider employer, and lender.

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