Back to Posts

Saying “No” is About More Than One Idea of Consent

August 19, 2021

There is seemingly no end to the debate about personal choices in our nation: for or against vaccinations, standing or kneeling for the pledge, abortion, naturalization vs. pathways to citizenship, changes to the second amendment, etc. All of these carry an inherent personal choice for or against something, but they may also lead to a secondary impact or carry a greater meaning. Whether that meaning is symbolic, or manifests change is up for debate until the test of time decides an outcome.

As the Tokyo Olympics came to an end and the United States emerged victorious it was not the medal count that struck as the monument of importance. It was the courage on display from Simone Biles in her ability to say “no” which resonated so much. Regardless of her athletic ability and whether or not she felt she had anything to prove, the lesson to take away from Ms. Biles is that bravery and self-worth isn’t pushing through challenges despite how you feel but acknowledging that sometimes a task may be too great and it’s ok to take a step back.

Recently, several articles have been published about the use of “sick time” in the United States and how prior to the COVID-19 pandemic Americans would regularly go to work sick. Nearly 25 percent of respondents in a poll stated they would go to work if they felt sick. As our country does not have a requirement for paid sick time there are many who work while sick because not doing so may mean a day of lost wages. There is a perception that if you take a sick day, that you are weak, expendable, or that you just don’t care about your job. There is a very large value system based on “work” or the responsibility you bear in your profession in our nation. The shame, guilt, and anxiety of being out sick often forces many to go into work when they feel awful, which can also impact those around them. With 1 in 5 Americans impacted in some way by a diagnosis of mental illness (depression, anxiety, PTSD, Post-Partum, etc.) how many people are forcing themselves to perform when the struggle was simply getting out of bed?

However, with the impacts of COVID-19, there has been a renewed discussion about sick time, and a much larger (though not universal) expectation that if someone is sick, feeling sick, or having any symptom of illness they should not go to work or school. This has led to impacts in the workforce, education, and numerous other sectors in our nation, but those impacts are not as devastating as believed. The discussions about being proactive in support of sick colleagues and coverage for work have accelerated and, in many cases, have positive outcomes and solutions. Are we getting closer to the discussion of the need for time off for mental health wellness as well?

Ms. Biles is a role model for us all showing immense bravery in openly discussing her struggles and her fear of not being able to perform at the level she expects of herself – which is no doubt higher than the expectations from us as spectators of the sport. Ms. Biles made a greater statement to us that sometimes, no matter how important the “job,” everyone has the choice to prioritize their own self-care and self-worth, and to say that even if others cannot see that something is wrong, there may actually be a burden being carried that is too heavy to lift at that moment.

For survivors of sexual abuse, whether it has been disclosed, undisclosed, prosecuted, dismissed, publicly known or private: the burdens deep inside can be a substantial weight to carry day to day. The adversity that Ms. Biles has endured and overcome so publicly cannot be understated. Her performance as an international athlete past and present cannot be minimized. Her true merit as a champion is her willingness to say, “I just felt it would be a little bit better to take a back seat, work on my mindfulness.” Ms. Biles’ leadership in promoting the choice to take care of herself on the world stage is as inspirational as her athletic performance.

Join our mailing list.

Stay up to date with what we’re working on!

Back to Posts

Technicalities, Suppression, and Brokered Deals Disrupt Justice

July 16, 2021

Due process under law is one of the great rights we are afforded as American citizens. The discussion of policing, prosecution, and penalties is at an all-time high, and the legal basis for criminal prosecution is garnering unprecedented attention. Yet, time and again in our nation, the prosecution of sexual crimes and crimes against children, as well as the rights of victims and survivors, has been overlooked and misunderstood.

The recent release of Bill Cosby from prison was a blow to sexual assault victim’s rights advocates and a gut shot to many survivors. The revelation that his due-process rights had been violated through a technicality does not exonerate Cosby of wrongdoing; it only suggests that the legal basis for his prosecution could be overturned. However, a man convicted by a jury of his peers walks free. This case has received a lot of public attention due to Cosby’s celebrity status, much like the Jeffrey Epstein case, arrest, and death in prison.

Despite the heinous circumstances and information revealed in Mr. Epstein’s last arrest, it is his indictment in 2007 and plea deal in 2008 that is so incredibly concerning. As reported by the Washington Post, “Federal prosecutors detailed their findings in an 82-page prosecution memo and a 53-page indictment, but Epstein was never indicted. In 2007, Acosta signed a non-prosecution deal in which he agreed not to pursue federal charges against Epstein or four women who the government said procured girls for him. In exchange, Epstein agreed to plead guilty to a solicitation charge in state court, accept a 13-month sentence, register as a sex offender and pay restitution to the victims identified in the federal investigation.”

In 2007 and 2008, there was more than enough evidence, witnesses, and testimony to charge and convict Mr. Epstein for numerous counts of sexual assault with minimal penalties of 10 years. However, he was able to work in prison six days a week, and travel to an office unsupervised for the entirety of his mere 13-month sentence. The identified victims who filed the complaints leading to Mr. Epstein’s indictment only found out about the deal when it was too late to contest it; they were never consulted by the prosecution. Once released, Mr. Epstein returned to the commercial sexual exploitation of children until his subsequent arrest and death.

Similarly, Larry Nassar, the now-disgraced former USA Gymnastic national team doctor, was arrested and sentenced to consecutive life sentences only recently, despite the numerous reported accusations, red flags, and victim and parent testimony to law enforcement and institutions for nearly 20 years. Additionally, in a now completed and released report, it was found that even when there was significant reports and evidenced submitted to the Federal Bureau of Investigation (FBI) the lack of investigation and action allowed a situation where “Nassar  continued working with athletes for more than a year while the investigation languished. The report said that ‘according to civil court documents, 70 or more young athletes were allegedly sexually abused under the guise of medical treatment’ during that time. However, an attorney for survivors said Nassar molested at least 120 more women and children.”

The sheer magnitude of victims stunned the nation already on the leading edge of the #MeToo movement, but the damage from gross negligence of systems spanning states and time was already done.

While the cases of Bill Cosby, Jeffrey Epstein, and Larry Nassar are notorious and have come to the public light only after the last few years, they are endemic of a system that doubts survivors and favors ease of prosecution. These three cases are a drop in the proverbial bucket of sexual assault, sexual abuse, and commercial sexual abuse cases in our nation. Much like the conversation of racial bias in policing and prosecution, we still have a long, long way to go for the greater public and legal systems to understand the neurobiology of trauma in children and the credibility of survivors of sexual assault and abuse. With increased education and exposure, we can change public perception and the way cases are investigated and prosecuted, removing barriers and allowing for adequate legal representation for victims.

One of the regular questions we get from a community perspective when detailing the investigations we support is: “Do children have to testify in court?” and the answer to that is: yes. The follow-up question is usually, “Well, what if they are 5- or 6-years-old?” And the answer is still: yes. “What if the alleged abused is a family member, or a parent?” Yes.

It is often that because of all of these “yes” answers, when a family or child is asked if they want to continue with prosecution, the answer is “no.”

In a time when we are discussing the full extent of the law, legal process, due process, investigations, and prosecution as a country and a community we should also be asking: how are victims of crime being represented? Are they being represented enough? In the public eye, we are often seeing that the answer to that is “no.” What about outside of the public eye? How many more instances of abusers walking free on technicalities are there? How many more reports are going uninvestigated? How many more deals are being made without the voice of the survivor involved?

At Children’s Cove, we work collaboratively with multidisciplinary partners to ensure that children have a voice that is heard. We work to empower survivors and support them in finding the healthiest outcome in their lives. At times, this comes at the expense of seeing the individuals who abused or exploited them receiving a fitting consequence for their actions. Other times we do see it. For all these instances, it is a long and difficult process for survivors.

We can do better for justice.

Join our mailing list.

Stay up to date with what we’re working on!

Back to Posts

Are we back to “Normal?” We hope not.

June 10, 2021

In Massachusetts, the COVID-19 pandemic state of emergency is over. For those who chose to get vaccinated, this means much of life can return to normal: dining out, shopping, visiting with friends and family, and giving hugs. As we move forward into this post-pandemic world, it’s not uncommon to hear, “I’m so glad things are getting back to normal.” However, it would be unwise to assume that everything is going to return to the way that it was. Technological innovation, for example, has permanently changed the way we work, go to school, socialize, and connect. And this integration of technology into our everyday lives will continue to expand—along with the associated risks.

This year, we have been diligent in addressing the increased risk of online sexual exploitation, as our children—and sexual predators–have spent more time online now than ever. The numbers of newly reported cases of child sexual abuse by the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children, as well as the Federal Bureau of Investigation, have only continued to climb since the onset of COVID-19. There has also been a surge in childhood exposure to internet pornography and unsolicited child sexual abuse material in their online interactions. These issues will pervade during what we had dubbed the “new normal,” and we urge you to keep the conversation open and ongoing.

One of the amazing things we at Children’s Cove experienced during the stay-at-home order was the sense of community online and a willingness to reach out for help. In response to this significant call for action, we launched our #IU2U, It’s Up To You, campaign, which included a commitment that parents and children discuss together to focus on the importance of their online safety, called The Pledge. We also started a new video series, kicked off by our Virtual Block Party event on April 27, during Child Abuse Prevention Month, which can be found on our YouTube channel. We have implemented these programs and resources because we know there is a demand for them. The risks for children online and in their digital lives are only going to increase. Just like body safety, discussing online safety is equally important for children now, and setting that tone for the future as well.

Please, take the time to have the conversation with your children about body safety AND online safety. Have these conversations early and often. We are excited that we can reconnect and reengage with our community, but there are some elements of returning to normal that we do not want back. We do not want to continue to be reactive to abuse after its happened. Instead, we hope to make the shift to being more proactive in the prevention of the child sexual abuse and advocating for our children’s health and safety, both in-person, and online.

Join our mailing list.

Stay up to date with what we’re working on!