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Jacob Stapledon

Above and Beyond 2022

November 11, 2022 by Jacob Stapledon

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Above and Beyond for Children

Jacob Stapledon

November 11th, 2022

On October 27th, Children’s Cove staff, friends, and community partners gathered to celebrate 25 years of hope and healing.  At the event, expansion plans for programs, services and our facility were unveiled, a new medical suite was announced and dedicated to the family of Phillip Rollins, a founding member of Children’s Cove, and the Cape and Islands Legislative Delegation received the Above and Beyond for Children award.

Each year, the Children’s Cove team awards deserving individuals or agencies with the Above and Beyond for Children Award. This award is given to individuals who show dedication and commitment to protect children on the Cape & Islands.

For many years, numerous key partners have joined us in the goal of creating a community free from abuse, supporting survivors of child sexual abuse, and sharing in the work Children’s Cove does as the leading support for child victims of crime on the Cape & Islands. Thankfully, some of our greatest supporters have been our bi-partisan legislators who represent our region.

This group of committed elected officials have fought hard over many years to bring stable funding to Children’s Cove”

This group of committed elected officials have fought hard over many years to bring stable funding to Children’s Cove, and this year their goal was reached as stable funding was secured outside of earmarks for all Massachusetts child advocacy centers to support programs and services.

The Cape & Islands Legislative Delegation have also fought for expanded hours and coverage for the PediSANE program and are currently working to recruit SANE nurses so victims can be seen in-person at our hospitals. They are on the forefront of the mental health crisis in our area by helping to create better access to behavioral health services.

Cape and Islands Legislative Delegation with the Children's Cove Team, October 27th, 2022

Therefore, for their collective work dedicated to protecting children on the Cape and Islands and their steadfast efforts to always support the work at Children’s Cove, the Above and Beyond for Children Award was presented to each member of the Cape and Islands Legislative Delegation. Those individuals who have served, and been recognized are:

  • Representative Kip Diggs
  • Representative Dylan Fernandes
  • Representative Sarah Peake
  • Representative David Vieira
  • Representative Tim Whelan
  • Representative Steven Xiarhos
  • Senator Julian Cyr
  • Senator Susan Moran

Thank you for your tireless efforts supporting children in our community and working with us to create a community free from abuse.

25th Anniversary Celebration – October 27th, 2022

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Filed Under: COMMUNITY

Removal of Statute of Limitations

October 25, 2022 by Jacob Stapledon

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Removal of Statute of Limitations for Civil Claims: An Important Step

Jacob Stapledon

October 25th, 2022

In September President Biden signed a bill removing the federal statute of limitations for civil claims by child victims of sexual abuse. The Eliminating Limits to Justice for Child Sex Abuse Victims Act removed restrictions on all forms of child sexual abuse, including commercial sexual exploitation of children.

The neurological changes to people’s brains when they experience trauma, known as the neurobiology of trauma, played a significant role in helping legislators understand the importance of removing the statute of limitations for victims reporting childhood sexual abuse.

As trauma is better understood through scientific research, there is a greater ability to improve victim services and advocacy. From a survival perspective most people understand the common reaction to trauma is “fight, flight or freeze.” This means that when someone is experiencing fear or a perceived threat, they will respond by fighting the perceived danger, fleeing, or hiding for their safety, or in some cases freezing – the proverbial “deer in the headlights” moment. This is the biological response for how someone’s natural instincts try to protect their physical body for survival.

However, each person’s brain records and remembers the event differently as well; this is the neurological response. Some people remember all the senses -sight, smell, taste, touch, and sound that they experience, while others will remember only some of them. Other people might fixate on a singular object or sound and others will block out the experience all together. Everyone requires a different amount of time, or new perspective, to fully understand their experience.

The difference in processing trauma is why some people may not understand that their experience actually was trauma, while others understand right away. The federal legislation highlights how society is making progress in understanding the challenges that children, and adults, have surrounding stepping forward about abuse – therefore there should not be a limit when someone is ready to seek justice. We applaud this bipartisan effort and hope our lawmakers do not stop there.

After experiencing sexual abuse trauma, one of the greatest challenges a survivor faces is asking for support. Nationally only 1 in 10 child victims will disclose their abuse in their lifetime. The challenges related to the neurobiology of trauma is a significant element, however there are so many other factors. The stigma around abuse, the relationship of the perpetrator to the victim, the fear of shame, and the lack of substantive public discourse around child sexual abuse are further barriers children face when deciding to ask for help. And should a child find the strength to make the disclosure, unfortunately, there is the stress of participating in prosecution.

Our society has improved pursuing and charging perpetrators with crimes against children, but the number of cases which move forward to prosecution is relatively small. There are enormous barriers in place across the nation for children to uphold justice against their perpetrators in a meaningful way. Most often cases go to a plea agreement or are dropped altogether. There are several reasons for this, but most often it is due to the requirement in many states, including Massachusetts, that child victims are required to testify in open court in front of their alleged perpetrator. Another problem that prosecutors have can be the lack of physical medical evidence if a child discloses sexual abuse 3-5 days after it occurs.

We applaud this bipartisan effort and hope our lawmakers do not stop there. “

For each of these circumstances, the age of a victim, the nature of the crime, or whether a child will be able to testify are at the discretion of the judge and prosecutor. And most of the time they will not allow a child on the witness stand if they believe that child is too young. When it comes to explaining about the lack of physical evidence at trial, most jurors do not understand, and defense attorneys exploit this for their advantage at trial.

Currently, there is minimal distinction in the court and trial system for special victims to receive care in the process of testifying. Children must face the same open court scrutiny as adults, in front of their alleged perpetrators, and anyone who wishes to be present for trial. While there are some limitations in the media reporting of these cases to protect the identify of children, in the courtroom they are still treated like adults.

We believe in the rule of law. We believe that everyone deserves the right to a fair and speedy trial and they presumption of innocence. However, we believe that although we have a system to prevent and defend against unlawful prosecution, this same system was not designed to avoid re-traumatizing victims of intimate and devastating violence and crime. We need our legislators to recognize that systems we operate continue to traumatize children, and advocate for them to take action to make the criminal and prosecutorial process more accessible to child victims while they seek complete justice.

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Filed Under: OUR TAKE

Community – Family Table Collaborative

October 25, 2022 by Jacob Stapledon

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Family Table Collaborative: Cape Cod’s Community Kitchen

Jacob Stapledon

October 25, 2022

At Children’s Cove, we often meet families during a tumultuous challenge in their lives. For some families, supporting a child after a traumatic sexual assault can be daunting. One of the essential elements in the healing process for children and families is tangible support in times of need. While the need can vary from family to family, over the last few years, there has been an increase in requests for access to healthy and nutritious food.

In 2020, during the initial onslaught of the COVID-19 pandemic, the Family Table Collaborative (FTC), a new Yarmouth-based non-profit organization, was established to address food and nutritional insecurity throughout Cape Cod. Co-founders Jeni Wheeler and Harry Henry envisioned FTC as a rapid response program to address the immediate needs of families and seniors struggling with food insecurity.

FTC has prepared and distributed more than 95,000 nutritious and delicious meals, soups, and other food items in addition to over 25,000 lbs. of fresh produce into our community.”

Working out of borrowed kitchens, and with a host of community partners, FTC started distributing healthy prepared meals directly to individuals and families during the pandemic. However, they recognized that nutritional security on Cape Cod is a full-time, year-round crisis. Since then, FTC has prepared and distributed more than 95,000 nutritious and delicious meals, soups, and other food items in addition to over 25,000 lbs. of fresh produce into our community.

The mission of FTC is to end hunger and improve nutritional security on Cape Cod by breaking down the barriers of access to both prepared meals and nutritional education. FTC is able to distribute delicious, nutritious, prepared meals directly to individuals and families across Cape Cod through their partnerships with the local farms, the fishing industry, and their newest Community Partner, Whole Foods Market, which delivers one hundred cases of food to FTC weekly.

FTC established its headquarters in 2021 at the former Riverway Lobster House property, which now serves as its base of operations. In addition to its mission, FTC also has the goal to become a self-sustaining non-profit that will become a nutritional hub of Cape Cod.

With the support of an army of volunteers, local businesses, grassroot fundraising and charitable donations, FTC has never missed a planned meal distribution. With each delivery, or directly at the Riverway, the FTC provides a warm, welcoming, comfortable, and supportive environment which is felt deeply by those who have benefited from their support. It’s hard for those who are already having a difficult time to ask for more, but at the Family Table Collaborative, everyone has a seat at their table – no questions asked. They are willing to meet each person where they are at and recognize that healthier humans make healthier communities. We appreciate the work they do for our community, and the support they have provided the families we both serve.

To learn more about the Family Table Collaborative, please visit their website here.

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Filed Under: COMMUNITY

Stable Funding

September 21, 2022 by Jacob Stapledon

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State Budget Legislation Brings Stable Funding to Massachusetts Child Advocacy Centers

Jacob Stapledon

September 22, 2022

Children’s Cove is one of twelve Child Advocacy Centers that exist through the Commonwealth. It is also a department of Barnstable County, which provides compassionate, efficient, critical child abuse intervention services in a child-friendly facility.

Having access to stable funding is tremendously important to the work we do. In this past legislative session, which ended a few weeks ago, language passed in the state budget which directed the consolidation of child advocacy center funding streams into one source that would be jointly administered by Massachusetts Children’s Alliance (MACA), in partnership with the MA Department of Public Health (DPH).

This is a permanent change that will stabilize funding for all 12 Child Advocacy Centers throughout the Commonwealth from this year going forward. This is an amazing accomplishment and one that has taken years of hard work and advocacy to achieve. The Cape Cod and Islands Legislative Delegation worked closely with Children’s Cove and MACA every step of the way to make this goal a reality. Because of this change, Children’s Cove will receive a $200,000 grant annually from the State of Massachusetts.

Children’s Cove is grateful to the Cape and Islands Delegation for their dedicated support.”

Because of their support, Children’s Cove will be able to provide hope and healing to child victims of abuse and their families throughout Cape Cod, Martha’s Vineyard, and Nantucket. This funding allows Children’s Cove to reinforce and expand our evidence-based programs, network of community partnerships, educational outreach, and awareness efforts. We will be able to continue empowering survivors, promoting healthy outcomes, and helping to mitigate the stigma of child abuse.

Our legislators support of Children’s Cove goes far beyond securing stable funding, it directly contributes to the work we do to try and heal some of our most vulnerable and important community members.

We would like to offer our heartfelt thanks to the Cape Cod and Islands Legislative Delegation for their tireless work to make this stable grant funding available, and for helping us attain our vision “to create a community where children are free of abuse, have a voice that is heard, and where they enjoy healthy, safe, and empowered lives” on the Cape and Islands.

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Filed Under: COMMUNITY

The Rise of Online Sexual Exploitation is Becoming the Norm

September 21, 2022 by Jacob Stapledon

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The Rise of Online Sexual Exploitation is Becoming the Norm

Jacob Stapledon

September 22, 2022

Online sexual exploitation of children remains high. In one year’s time, from 2020 to 2021, online exploitation rose by 35% and increased to more than 73% from pre-pandemic levels, according to the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children.

Across our region we have seen sexual exploitation take place on computers, tablets, phones, video game consoles, school-based Chromebooks, tablets, iPads and through Apps associated with school use. The most prominent Apps where exploitation has taken place, discussed, or coordinated have been Snapchat, Discord, Facebook Messenger, Instagram, Chat Roulette, WhatsApp and Omegle. The risks abound in the online world, and it is not getting better. The bottom line is that within these particular Apps or outside of them, if a child has access to the internet, they are at risk of exploitation.

So, who is at risk? The National Center for Education Statistics  reports that in 2019, 95% of children between the ages of 3 and 18 in the United States, had access to the internet. Their access came either through a mobile device, computer, laptop / tablet, or gaming console.

Then the Covid-19 pandemic hit, which resulted in billions of dollars invested into updating internet-based systems access across the country. In addition, the purchase of internet enabled devices skyrocketed due to a surge of everyone working and attending school from home. Over the last few years, even children entering pre-school have brought electronic school tablets home.

Child sexual abuse material, otherwise known as child pornography, is routinely observed online by teens to the point it is becoming normalized and might be overlooked by mandated reporters.”

What is troubling is that sexually explicit content on the internet has also been on the rise for several years. Child sexual abuse material, otherwise known as child pornography, is routinely observed online by teens to the point it is becoming normalized and might be overlooked by mandated reporters.

Even more troubling is that “sexting,” or sending sexually explicit text messages and images, has become a social norm for kids and teens. Sending a nude to someone is as common as passing a note was in pre-cell phone days. It is surprising to note that it is no longer a horrifying or embarrassing event when a sexual or nude photograph is sent to a group of people – the situation is now such a common occurrence there is little or no alarm. At times, these images live right in the group chat of a child’s main friend group on their phone, the place a parent would never suspect. With the virtual world regularly intertwined in the real world, dating and sexual exploration regularly resides in online spaces, with nearly no discussion of values or social norms.

This enmeshment of the online and real world has significantly limited a parent’s options of restricting internet accessible devices from their children. It is no longer feasible for a parent to think, “Well, they just won’t have a phone or a computer, that’s it.” To help protect their children, parents need to have conversations with their children about body and online safety. It is important to set ground rules for internet usage and access. And it is paramount that parents have those difficult conversations about online exploitation with their children from a very young age.

The more parents engage with their child’s online life, discussing the reality and risks, the more likely children will confide in their parents when issues arise. It is important that kids and teens know that if they make a mistake, they can have a calm non-judgmental conversation with their parents and ask for help. Children need to know that their parents will always believe in them, advocate for them and put their health and safety first. At Children’s Cove, we are here to give support to parents across the Cape and Islands.

Additionally, we want to remind to mandated reporters across the Commonwealth: if a child has had a photo or video taken of them, and they are under the age of eighteen, it is child sexual abuse material. If you have a reasonable belief or suspicion that a child has been victimized in this way, you are required to follow the reporting requirements for the state of Massachusetts. The impact of a child being victimized for their lifetime is more than enough of a reason to file a report and support them.

To learn more about the sexual exploitation of children, visit our page here.

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Filed Under: OUR TAKE

What are your family agreements around safety?

August 22, 2022 by Jacob Stapledon

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What are your family agreements around safety?

Jacob Stapledon

August 22rd, 2022

There is a lot for parents to do to keep their children healthy and safe. Beginning with newborns and baby-proofing their space, to toddlers as they begin to take their first steps – the urge to protect them is always present. When children are young, the conversations about fire safety, sharp objects, crossing roads and parking lots are constant and repeated. It is also especially important for parents to discuss body safety and personal boundaries, making sure to explain challenging concepts in ways young children may understand. The work is constant and ever changing.

As children get older, make friends, and develop more independence as young people, the focus and conversations about safety tend to taper off, though they may still pop up in instances of accidents, mistakes, gaming, online device use or dating; at a certain point however, the concepts and conversations around safety seem to fall off all together. While parents will always have concern for the safety of their children, should they assume that their children understand the rules they were taught early on and will follow them? Are parents setting rules that they also follow to set an example?

Children are sponges and take on the traits of parents. Not only is ‘do as I say not as I do’ a worn-out phase, it also doesn’t work.”

There are laws and specific rules about safety which often go ignored by well-educated and developed adults. While the reasons for this are varied, often children observe rules not being followed or come to see that “every rule has an exception.” Children are sponges and take on the traits of parents. Not only is “do as I say not as I do” a worn-out phase, it also doesn’t work. This is why the standards, practices, and agreements families create matter.

Beyond the lessons parents teach, setting family agreements for what keeps everyone safe is important. And these agreements need to be discussed and practiced regularly. An example: fire officials often recommend changing batteries for fire detectors each Spring and Fall for daylight savings time. Officials also want everyone in the house to practice their own fire drill and for the family to set a safe location to meet. Practicing these habits will allow children to know not only what do to, but how they will move their bodies and think critically in the situation. Writing this plan down, setting expectations, and talking about it when the time comes to change the fire detector batteries becomes an agreement and a habit of safety.

When we take time to think about common situations which can present risk, it can be overwhelming to try to address every situation. However, starting somewhere is better than not starting at all. There are several organizations, including Children’s Cove, which offer templates about ways to discuss family safety agreements and help set practices for families.

As school is about to begin, parents might find there are new conversations about safety which come to mind. Take the opportunity to have conversations with your children about your family safety rules.

For guidance or ideas for creating family agreements on safety, take a look at these links:

Take The Pledge to be Safe Online ( from Children’s Cove)

Creating Family Rules (from Centers for Disease Control)

Make your own Family Code of Conduct (from Darkness to Light)

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Filed Under: OUR TAKE

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Individuals pictured are models and are used for illustrative purposes only. Children’s Cove is partially supported by the Massachusetts Office of Victims of Assistance through a Victim of Crime Act of 1984 (VOCA) grant from the Office of Victims of Crime, Office of Justice Programs, U.S. Department of Justice. In accordance with Federal law and U.S. Department of Agriculture policy, this institution is prohibited from discriminating on the basis of race, color, national origin, religion, gender or gender identity, disability, ancestry, age, marital status, public assistance status, sexual orientation, veteran history/military status or genetic information. (Not all prohibited bases apply to all programs.) To file a complaint of discrimination, write to USDA, Director, Office of Civil Rights, 1400 Independence Avenue, S.W., Washington, D.C. 20250-9410, or call (800) 795-3272 (voice) or (202) 720-6382 (TDD). USDA is an equal opportunity provider employer, and lender.

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